Aydi boy, you know what happened this week?
Mummy took a huge plunge – I’m leaving your baby brother home & traveling abroad for 2 weeks! That’s right – I won’t see him, touch him, feed him or play with him for 2 whole weeks.
This work trip to Manila, Philippines has been pending for a while now. I had initially booked my tickets for February this year assuming that I’ll be able to train Omi to take a bottle & get used to me not being around. I failed. Not complaining. I guess I wasn’t prepared enough as well mentally. And, as destiny would have it, my visa wasn’t coming on time, and it just took me a split second to decide on canceling the whole plan.
Now that Omi is a year old, it should be ok right? I was still doubtful, but it’s only when daddy told me that he WILL manage that I was confident enough to plan the travel again. I was only concerned of his night feeds since he was rejecting the bottle. Otherwise, daddy is pretty hands on, and I’m sure he’ll do what’s required.
As expected, he cried his lungs out the first 2 days & eventually settled in I guess. He was clinging on to daddy throughout, not going to the nanny or anybody else… But overall he is doing ok. His sleep & meal schedules have gone for a toss. But overall ok.
This is one time that I want time to fly, but it just doesn’t. It’s only been 5 days, but already feels like I’ve been here for a long time. Not even a week. And there’s more than a full long week ahead before I can get back to those cuddles.
It’s not easy at all. For neither him nor me. But this was to happen at some point. I mean, he should know that mummy might not be around all the time, but he will very well be attended to. You’d have taken care of him as well, right?
It was very easy to feel guilty. There’s every reason to be. But there’s one reason not to be – mummy needs this break. With all the sleep deprivation, going through that herculean task of getting him to eat his meals, not being able to eat certain food for the sake of lactation, having to get to work on time, honestly I was super tired. I mean, think about it – I haven’t finished watching “Ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga” which I started in mid April, and it’s still just a little over half watched. It’s not even a good movie, but I’ll take ANY movie now.
When I was still a bit hesitant on making this trip happen, daddy did remind me that this break is needed for me & that I deserved it. It makes things 100 times better when you get that assurance from the other half who contributed to making the baby. That took away a ton of the potential guilt. Nipped in the bud.
I told myself not to fall for it – there are thousand other ways that society will make you feel guilty for things that they have no clue about. Taking a break from parenting is not representative of how much I love my kid. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. Parent-shaming, particularly mom-shaming is everywhere. Happy moms raise happy children. So, this is needed for me as much as it’s needed for anybody who needs a break. So let mummy soak it all in, enjoy this time guilt free, and get back to the tiny human with all the love and touch that’s been bottled up for 2 years! (“years” is not a typo)
Mother that isn't... 