This week, a very close friend gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He’s a rainbow baby after 2 traumatic pregnancy losses.
This friend & her husband has been with us throughout our hospital days, before & after. They are more like family. Probably she understood me the most than others with her experience of baby-related heartbreaks. I’ve shared a lot of emotional moments with her.
With a lot of ups & downs, they finally reached the delivery stage. I was worried for her throughout & was very happy & relieved that she carried the baby to full term without major complications.
With her history of unsuccessful pregnancies and fluctuating health, it was a planned C-section. When she told me about this, I immediately offered that I can take the day off and be at the hospital on the day of C-section. And, I did.
It was the same hospital Ayden was born in. It was the same Ob-Gyn that she was consulting too. Too many things came rushing in to my mind when I saw familiar faces & corridors of the hospital.
I bumped into the neonatologist who diagnosed Ayden’s heart condition. He recognized me. Later, he called me inside, and we had a chat for 10-15 mins. He asked me how we are doing, how I know his latest patient’s parents… We spoke about TGA, the surgery, etc.
My friend’s baby was taken into NICU since he had mild breathing issues. I saw him from outside the glass wall of NICU. It gave me a jolt. The neonatologist who saw me there told me that I could go inside & see him. I did. My stomach churned upside down looking at that 4 hours old baby boy with a cannula, an over-sized diaper, sleeping sideways in the basinet in front of the beeping monitor. Déjà vu!
This little boy came back to his mother after a day of his NICU stay – all healthy. After 3 days of hospital stay, they came home today.
Her brother & I planned to decorate the house before they came in. I bought balloons, banners, pompoms, other danglers… we decorated their room. It looked cute. We welcomed them home with all our hearts & positiveness.
I held him in my arms for a good 10 mins. I held Ayden in my arms for the first time when he was 3 days old.
Everything seemed surreal.
Did all these pinch me? Yes, it did indeed. But I’m sure it was slightly different. It wasn’t just the I-can’t-face-a-newborn-when-I-don’t-have-mine pinch. It was also the I-totally-understand-the-emotions-and-heartbreaks-that-went-into-finally-getting-that-baby-home pinch.
I was concerned of my friend. I knew she wouldn’t want to celebrate yet. I’m sure her priority would have been to ensure that this baby is going to stay with her, before even thinking of any sort of celebration.
This was the 3rd baby birth in my friends & family circle after Ayden. I didn’t even attempt visiting the first 2. Maybe, I’ll think twice before even doing a courtesy visit for the near future ones to come, unless they mean different.